Five Things That People Who Still Buy Lauryn Hill Tickets Do

Lauryn Hill has left fans in Nashville high and dry. AGAIN. She was set to perform last night after rescheduling her August 5th concert there. She blamed it on everything from the alcohol to Hurricane Michael to the fire marshals.

Unless L. Boogie was in the panhandle, Hurricane Michael had nothing to do with Nashville or the price of tea in China. Chile….

Lauryn Hill is who she is but I can’t figure out who’s still buying tickets for her shows?

I realized that as devoted as these fans may be; something is amiss. Folks can’t be right in the head. I have compiled a list of things that people who still buy her tickets do.

5. Overuse Sugar

I am convinced that people who buy her tickets put sugar in their grits, greens and spaghetti. Yes, I said it. Fight your moms.

4. Believe In Fictional Characters

I’m certain that they believe that the stork brought their children and they still believe in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny.

3. Think that The Kardashians are Black

The Kardashians are half-Armenian meaning they are white and white. Armenia is in Europe bordering the Caucasus Mountains. They are from the land of the Caucasians. They also believe that their faces and asses are real too.

2. Overuse #Facts

In arguments, they say silly shit like, “Facts!” Even when it’s an opinion. No Jaden- Kanye wouldn’t make a great president.

1. Wholeheartedly get in to “fake news.”

Finally, people who buy Lauryn Hill tickets believe that Facebook is going to start charging folks to use it and that someone hacked their account and sent a duplicated friend request.

Before you get your panties in a bunch, this list is in gist. But I really do want to know why, after all the proof in the world, can you continue to support an artist who doesn’t give a damn about you or your good “Caucasian” time.

Originally published at Negra With Tumbao.